Letters from the Heart
by asianpersuasion10
Summary: Sequel to All We'd Ever Need. Writing can be a great source of healing. For Edward and Bella, it just may be what they both were looking for. AH, AU, ExB.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

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One week. One week I had been at my new job. One week I had been away from my friends and family. One week I had been away from Edward. Did I think it would be this hard? Did I think I wouldn't think about them everyday? Did I think that I could go about my day and not wish I had never left? Sure, I loved my new job. My boss is incredible; he gives me free reign when it came to my clients. I had my first solo client on my third day here. I was extremely surprised that he already trusted me enough with that. But, the Cullen's…they are my friends. They are my family. As much as I hate to say it I miss them more and more each day and it takes every thing that I have to not pack up my stuff and go back home. Most nights I cry myself to sleep wishing I could go back and just change one little thing so that I could be back in Edward's arms for the rest of my life. To be back in Washington with Alice, Emmett, and Jasper.

Then I wake up and tell myself that this is where I need to be. This is what I was meant to do. This is my dream. I can't let myself succumb to my nerves. I would be kicking myself later. I needed to do this for Edward…I needed to do this for myself.

After my fifth day of work I came home, kicked off my God forsaken heels, poured myself a glass of wine, and collapsed on my couch. I was having an internal debate with myself on whether or not to call Alice for any words of encouragement. But, then I remembered that she would be here the next day for a visit.

I sifted through the rather large stack of mail that flooded my mailbox to see most of the stuff had been forwarded from Washington. The very last piece of it stunned me mid-swallow. The envelope was addressed to this address in the elegant script that I would recognize anywhere.

_Isabella Swan_

There was no return address. There was no need. I knew exactly whom it was from. Should I open it? Should I wait till Alice gets here and have her open it? Should I call him and ask what this is all about? What the fuck do I do with this? I sat there for a good thirty minutes before I placed the glass onto the coffee table and slowly ripped the seal of the envelope. Taking a deep breath I pulled out two sheets of notebook paper and unfolded them. Closing my eyes and taking one last breath, I focused on the writing on the page.

_February 21, 2008_

_My Bella,_

_You've given me the opportunity to live, to love, to be great. I realized that I was doing none of those things. I hate that it took losing you to make me realize it, but like you said you were 'right.' I took your letter into account and made an appointment to see Dr. Mitchell the day after I got your letter from Alice. I went to two sessions before I really opened up about 'us.' He suggested that being able to write down how I was feeling, the things I wanted to say, but could never bring myself to say, in letters to you. He told me not to send them, but to keep them in a box with your name on it. I don't know what the hell kind of assignment it is to put letters to you in a box, but I'm doing it for the sake of getting better. Becoming the man you need me to be. Only, I will be typing out the letters to put into the box and then handwriting each to send to you. I need you to know that I'm not doing this to make this hard on you. And you don't have to write back, but I need you to know what's in my heart. I need you to know that I'm trying to heal. Trying to become the man that you deserve. _

_I love you with all of my heart. I have always loved you, even if it didn't seem like it. Every time I hurt you I would tell myself that I didn't deserve your kindness. I didn't deserve your forgiveness, but being the selfish man that I am, I took it. I needed you with me and I took your kind and caring heart for granted. I never want to be that man again. You deserve to be treated like the Goddess that you are. So far, I've admitted my mistakes, and I take full responsibility for them. I've realized that not only do I need to be happy in order to make you happy, but that I was only truly happy when I was with you. _

_I am so proud of you. I hope you are enjoying working and living in NYC. It's such a great city and I'm so proud that you took the initiative and moved out there on your own to work toward your dream. I wish I were half as brave as you are. _

_You will always and forever be in my heart. Every breath that I take and every beat of my heart belong to you. _

"_Happiness is the only sanction in life; where happiness fails, existence remains a mad and lamentable experiment." _

_George Santayana_

_I love you, my Bella_

_Edward_

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**I'm trying something a little different with this one. Each chapter will be in either Bella or Edward's POV. Each chapter will contain a letter each of them as written to one another. I really hope that you like this. **

**FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED!!! AND DEFINITELY GIVES ME MORE MOTIVATION IN GETTING CHAPTERS UP FASTER!!!! lol **


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I'm back from England! I'm definitely extremely sad about it, but life goes on, right? I'm officially done with school and am now out looking for a job and let me tell you...IT SUCKS!! If you all though school was stressful, try finding a job for 2 months from now. EEK!!! **

**Anyways, I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing. I had started this chapter before I left in January and just finished it today. I hope you like it. I'm still trying to get back into the fan fiction writing mode. So far, it's a bit rocky. But, I would love your feedback! I'm working on a couple more stories that should be posted sometime late next week or next weekend. Depends on how my week goes. And, I'm trying to work on "Last Train Home" as well, so please bare with me!!! **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think!!!**

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Two weeks and three days. Two weeks and three days since I had sent that letter to Bella. What the hell was I thinking? I had disobeyed my doctor's orders to not send them, but I just couldn't help myself. I needed her to know that I still needed her in my life, if it were only through a pen and paper. She was my world. She was the only thing I wanted…the only thing I needed in my life.

Dr. Mitchell said that I had been making progress. I started to not feel like the world was caving in around me. I started to realize that there were things and people in this world that wanted me to be living to my full potential and that I hadn't been doing that.

Did I really think she would write me at all? Did I have as much faith in her as she had for me? I knew she had just started a new job and was probably busy and just hadn't gotten to it. But, as the days past without a response from her, my heart ached more and more. I could not lose her. Not now. Not after everything we've been through, everything I've put her through. She said she still loved me. Doesn't that count for something? Or was I just wishing for something that deep down inside I knew was never going to happen?

I fucked up! I probably freaked her out and she won't ever talk to me again. I poured my heart out to her and she wasn't ready for it. FUCK! Should I call her to make sure she was OK? What about asking Alice? Surely she would know if Bella was weirded out by something.

"What?!" I all but yelled into the phone that wouldn't stop ringing.

"Geez, what crawled up your butt and died?" I heard the voice of my sister ask. It was a good thing Alice was my sister and put up with my crap, because if she didn't I don't know what I would do with myself.

"Sorry Alice. It hasn't been a very good day. What's up?" I asked running my free hand through my hair as I sat on my couch sifting through my mail holding onto the ounce of hope that I still had.

"I talked to Bella today! She's doing good. Working a lot. She told me to tell you hello." I really wasn't paying attention to a word Alice said. By the time she started talking my hand landed on an envelope with no return address, but with the handwriting that I would recognize anywhere.

"Uh…that's good Alice. I have to go," with that I closed my phone and turned it off. I picked up the envelope with shaky hands and turned it over. I slowly opened the envelope inhaling deeply before letting it out. I took out two sheets of paper, unfolded them, and began reading.

_**March 2, 2008**_

_Edward,_

_I wasn't sure if I would really sit down and write you back. But, after reading your letter over at least thirty times and spending countless hours thinking about what you said, I decided that there was no way I couldn't not write you back. _

_I'm proud of you for going to see Dr. Mitchell. Your father said he was the best. I'm glad you have someone you can talk to about everything. I just wish that person were me. You're my best friend, Edward and it breaks my heart knowing you don't feel like you can be open and honest with me. But, I know you're working on that too. I want you to be able to trust me fully and I want to be able to trust you fully. I believe in you, Edward. I really do. I've always believed in you. You have no idea how strong you are. I guess you just need that push in the right direction and you'll figure it out. It's up to you to figure things out. And I know that you will. I have faith in you. You WILL get through this. Know that I will always be there for you. Thinking about you every step of the way. Praying for you. Encouraging you to keep moving forward. I love you, Edward. _

_I wish you were here with me in New York. I've made a few friends, but I miss our family and friends. Alice came out a couple weeks ago. She was her crazy self and helped me get my apartment decorated so it looks less like a prison and more like…well…a home? Don't tell her I told you this, but I was really glad she came out here to help me with my apartment. It was looking horrible before she worked her magic! She's amazing! _

_My mother is coming out next week. Apparently she's worried about me. She thinks I need to get out more instead of staying cooped up here. I say, I'M A GROWN WOMAN AND CAN DO WHAT I WANT!!! But, she doesn't like to listen to me. Typical, Renee, huh? Anyways, it will be good to see her. I talked to your mother a couple days ago. She probably told you. If not, please don't be mad at her. She was just checking up on me. She said she may even come out for a visit. I would definitely love that. I miss your parents so much. Give them a hug for me if you can. I know you aren't supposed to be sending these to me, but just hug them for me, please. _

_I miss you, Edward. I miss you so much. _

_All of my love,_

_Bella_


	3. Necessary AN

I'm really sorry it's taken me this long to do this. An author's note. But, alas it must be done. Seeing as how it's been months since I've posted anything new. First I want to thank all of you who read my stories. I love all the comments I get, even if they are one liners. Some of those are the best ones I get. I'm really appreciative that you all actually like my writing when I find it elementary at times. Secondly, this is not a farewell to my writings. I will be back eventually, I'm just not really sure how long it will be until I come back.

I've been going through a lot lately. I thought being out of school would be awesome. And don't get me wrong I love not having homework or having to study for tests. And when people tell you to "stay in school. The real world sucks." LISTEN TO THEM!!! haha Also have been going through some family stuff. My grandma passed away September 23, 2009 after a three-year battle with liver cancer. During the few months prior to her death and the few months after, I've been in a bit of a depression and I'm slowly pulling myself out of that. (Shit…watery eyes…ok controlled. lol)

With all that said. There about a 53% chance that I will be moving to South Korea within the next month. So, as far as my writings go, I'm not sure how much of that I'll be able to do. I've been getting back into reading Fan Fics, trying to find some sort of inspiration, it's just hard getting it back.

So, I appreciate those of you who are sticking it out with me….even if it's just one. I started working on a one-shot before my grandma's health started to rapidly decline and I'm hoping to start back up with it in hopes to get where I need to be with my other stories. So…wish me luck!!!!!

Take care.

Asianpersuassion


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